Four Subtle Signs You’re Stuck in Survival Mode
I was inspired to write this post based on my own experiences of delayed stress coming out of my body, and what I also see in the lives of those closest to me.
We all have our own degrees of stress and trauma, and absolutely all of us have had stressful experiences throughout our lifetime. They are not comparable, they are each completely unique, just like us.
We all have varying degrees of trauma from childhood, and then as we go into adulthood there’s more.
For some of us, we’ve had tricky experiences with relationships and people in our lives, for others it’s been death in the family or in our circle of friends. There is also work stress, money stress, caring for someone, the stress of long-term illness, injuries and accidents, and so many more that I can’t even begin to mention.
Some of these stressful and traumatic events are a one-time thing, but have long-lasting effects. And for others, they are a slower build of stress, and these are the ones that aren’t talked about so often.
It’s the constantly ‘keeping your head above water’ everyday financial worry, it’s the stress after moving or relocating, it’s the stress of worrying about ill family or friends, it’s the stress of a mother watching over her children, it’s the stress of unfulfilled dreams, the stress of not living in alignment with your values, the stress of staying in the spiritual closet, the stress of not being your authentic self.
These are the slow-burners of stress that we don’t even realise are happening.
The point is, life on earth can feel pretty intense! And a coping mechanism for many of us is to just push it aside so we can get on with our lives.
This works to an extent, as it allows us the ability to carry on - yet what are the delayed effects that might come out later on? So, here are five subtle signs you’re stuck in survival mode, and at the end I’ll share what you can start to do about it.
Subtle sign you’re in survival mode: you react rather than respond
There are two ways that we communicate; we either react or we respond.
Reacting is unconscious, it’s like an immediate reply that we don’t have any control over, which is why it’s called a reaction. We often don’t even know why we react in this way, and that in itself can feel really frustrating.
For example, during an argument with a partner, a reaction is immediately snapping back with a defensive or hurtful comment when criticised. A response is taking a moment to pause, breathe, and acknowledge the partner’s feelings before calmly sharing our perspective.
When we’ve buried trauma or there’s long-term stress just below the surface, reacting rather than responding often happens because our nervous system is operating in survival mode. Reacting isn’t conscious, it’s driven from something much deeper below the surface.
When a situation triggers even a small resemblance to past pain or overwhelm, our subconscious interprets it as a threat. Instead of responding calmly, we react impulsively as a way of protecting ourselves from that perceived danger.
What’s more, if we’ve been stuck in a cycle of just “getting by” for a long time, we may not have had the chance to develop tools for self-regulation. When faced with stress or challenges, it’s easier to default to reactive patterns that mirror how we’ve coped in the past.
Subtle sign you’re in survival mode: you’re stuck in ‘freeze’ mode
This can be a really big challenge for those of us operating with stress and trauma still in our systems.
The freeze response is a survival mechanism that causes us to mentally and physically shut down when a situation feels overwhelming. This is often why when we have terrifying dreams, we can’t physically move. Or when we have a stressful situation and we just freeze in shock.
While helpful in moments of acute danger, prolonged stress or trauma can keep us stuck in this state, affecting our ability to fully engage with life, try new things and experience joy.
In daily life, the freeze response often shows up as feeling stuck or paralyzed, struggling to take action even when we want to, and it’s this in particular that can cause us to spiral into feelings of guilt and low self-worth, which really impact our confidence to try something new.
It can also create emotional numbness, making activities that once brought joy feel dull or meaningless, and even create avoidance of new or challenging experiences. This is because stepping outside our comfort zone may feel unsafe, even when there’s no real threat.
A good example of this is when you can’t do the simplest of things, like go for a walk outside, pick an outfit to wear for the day, choose what to eat for lunch or make plans for your weekend.
It varies but it’s this ‘freeze’ energy of non-action, indecision and inability to move forwards, and breaking a routine can feel really scary.
The freeze response isn’t a conscious choice - it’s our body’s way of trying to protect us, and recognising it is the first step toward reclaiming joy and reconnecting with ourselves.
Subtle sign you’re in survival mode: you don’t make time for joy
A big part of being stuck in this freeze mode connects to this inability to make room for joy.
Whether we’re experiencing low-level stress running in the background or unresolved trauma from the past, it becomes incredibly hard to prioritise joy in our lives.
The reason for this is that our energy and focus are centered on safety and survival. In survival mode, joy isn’t viewed as essential - it gets pushed to the side.
Joy often comes from being present and open to new experiences, but the freeze response keeps us in “shutdown” mode, making it hard to access creativity, inspiration, or flow. Even simple pleasures like dancing, painting, or spending time with those we love might feel out of reach.
Another layer to this inability to prioritise joy is a deeply rooted belief of not feeling deserving of it. Stress and trauma can affect us profoundly, often leaving behind feelings of shame, guilt, or unworthiness.
It’s these emotions that can quietly chip away at our self-worth, creating the belief that we aren’t deserving of joy, love, or wonder in our lives.
It’s not just about feeling stuck, it’s about believing, on some level, that joy isn’t meant for us, or that we need to “earn” it by working harder, achieving more, or fixing ourselves first. This belief system reinforces the cycle, keeping joy out of reach and deepening the sense of disconnect from the life we wish we could live.
Subtle sign you’re in survival mode: your body is struggling
As I mentioned earlier, there are often delayed effects of pushing down the stress and trauma of the past. These effects can come through on a physical, emotional and mental level.
For example, on a mental level, as we’ve already seen, we tend to react rather than respond. On an emotional level, we struggle to prioritise joy and create new experiences in our life, and on a physical level, we may experience different symptoms to help us realise that something’s not quite right.
When we don’t process our emotions and push them down, they often like to pop up in more inconvenient ways to get our attention. Our body is always wanting to communicate with us, and symptoms is a way it does that.
From my years of working as a Systematic Kinesiologist, which is about understanding and treating the root cause of symptoms, nearly every illness or symptom had an emotional root cause.
This isn’t new thinking, more and more science is beginning to see that the mind and body is one unit. We process emotions through every cell in our body, and so when we experience pain or discomfort in our physical body, we need to understand what emotions are trying to be processed.
Stress and trauma don’t just affect the mind, they leave a lasting imprint on the body, often manifesting as low energy, brain fog, recurring illnesses, digestive issues, sleep problems, and a host of other physical symptoms.
Addressing the impact of stress means calming the nervous system and nurturing our body so we can realign with our body’s innate wisdom and its capacity to restore balance. More than anything, we all need to be deeply compassionate and loving with ourselves, we’re all just doing the best we can.
Recommendations to get out of survival mode
1. If you react rather than respond, try this:
Breathwork can be a wonderful way to regulate your nervous system - even just one minute of conscious breathing can do wonders.
Explore mindfulness practices such as regular meditation or grounding exercises to help you stay present, especially walks in nature.
Journaling can be a powerful way for you to reflect on your reactions so you uncover their root cause and support you to respond with greater awareness in the future.
Somatic Awareness: Practices like yoga or body scanning help you tune into how your body reacts to stress, giving you tools to interrupt automatic reactions.
2. If you’re stuck in freeze mode, try this:
Gentle movement such as walking in nature, yoga or tai chi can help you reconnect with your body and release the “frozen” energy
Spending time with trusted friends or loved ones helps rebuild a sense of safety and allows you to thaw out of freeze mode.
Instead of overwhelming yourself with big tasks, break things into small, baby steps, which will help build momentum and regain confidence.
3. If you don’t make time for joy, try this:
Start by scheduling even five minutes a day for something that brings you joy, such as listening to music, dancing, or enjoying a cup of something delicious.
Try low-pressure creative activities like painting, writing, or gardening, to respark that joy - and focus on the process rather than the outcome.
Reflect on small moments of joy or things you’re grateful for each day to shift your mindset.
Connect with your inner child by creating playful moments in your day so you can reawaken a sense of joy.
4. If your body is struggling, try this:
Give your body the rest it needs through quality sleep, naps, and moments of stillness - overdoing things will only delay healing.
Focus on nourishing your body with foods that will support your immune system and energy levels, such as fresh fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.
Explore supportive therapies like acupuncture, Reiki, or massage to release tension and support your body’s natural healing processes.
Explore what your body is telling you by reading ‘Heal Your Body’ by Louise Hay or ‘Metaphysical Anatomy’ by Evette Rose
If you’d like to explore how to uncover and release trauma in a safe and gentle way, I offer one-to-one Divine Healing sessions. I also offer monthly group healing in my membership Your Authentic Soul to bring gentle awareness to what’s going on under the surface.
