Three fears holding me back from quitting Instagram (and how I’m letting go)
Instagram and I have had a love-hate relationship for many years.
There’s love for the opportunity it gives me to be creative, there’s love for the joy it brings through humor and laughter, and there’s love for the potential and expansion that it can help me reach.
The world does not exist in black and white, and Instagram is therefore neither good nor bad. Like all tools available to us, there are some we enjoy using, and some we don’t. Some get the better of us, and some we never quite manage to master.
At the same time, there is a dark side to Instagram that has always been hovering in the background as I use it. It seems to whisper to me, as I scroll through brilliant people doing brilliant things with their content, their businesses, and their lives, “You could do this too, if you really wanted to.”
And this is where my relationship with Instagram gets sticky and icky, challenging my self-worth and bringing up all sorts of fears.
There is a knowing, deep within me, that if I enjoyed it, if I wanted to, and if I needed to, I could also create wonderful content that people enjoy. Yet, there is a stronger part of me that doesn’t want to devote my time and energy in this way. So, I constantly war against myself, fighting to find the truth within about what role I want Instagram to play in my life.
If I listen to Instagram’s algorithm of content creator after content creator filling my feed with the words, “Anyone can do it,” then perhaps I could commit to it and see where it takes me. But, if I listen to myself and commit to staying away from Instagram, there are places that decision could also take me.
I’ve been slowly pulling back from Instagram for many months now—perhaps it’s even been years—but I’ve never fully broken away due to five fears that linger within me, causing indecision, doubt, and confusion about my choice.
I’m an all-or-nothing girl, which is why I tend to go headfirst into decisions and make very clear choices. Five years ago, I decided to give up drinking completely (and here’s what happened when I decided to drink again). And for me, Instagram is the same—I either commit to it or I don’t, and this gray area in between is starting to tire me out.
And I know I’m not alone in feeling this way.
So here are the three fears that have been holding me back from pulling the plug on Instagram, and how I’m slowly overcoming them so I can make my choice once and for all.
No. 1 - facing the fear of not fulfilling my potential
The first fear that holds me back from quitting Instagram is the fear of not being able to fulfill my potential. And linked to this fear is a deep feeling of shame at that realization.
Shame is deeply rooted within all of us, especially those with strong 7-7 energy in their Soul Contract. The energy of this number is all about facing the darkness within and confronting the shame that lies buried so deep we’re scared to face it.
The shame around quitting Instagram is built on the belief that I’m somehow not good enough to make it work for me. The belief is that I’m too lazy, and if I had really wanted to build a successful social media presence, I could have by now.
The shame that bites into me stems from the feeling that I’ve somehow failed myself and let myself down by not trying hard enough, not working hard enough, and not being disciplined enough to learn how to do it right.
This shame is compounded even more by scrolling through endless people who have all managed to create success for themselves on this platform—highlighting even further how much I’ve failed myself by not trying hard enough. It’s a self-punishing attitude that allows no room for understanding or kindness.
The algorithm constantly shows us what we’re interested in and what inspires us, which is always closely related to our own desires and drives, creating even more comparison between ourselves and the lives we watch, admire, or envy through Instagram.
We are all aware that we self-sabotage good things in our lives through unconscious beliefs and programming that tell us we somehow aren’t worthy of them. This makes me question whether I self-sabotage my own success on Instagram on purpose by not even trying.
This is where I got tied up in knots, yet the truth is actually very simple.
It’s easy to end up in a state of blame and shame when something doesn’t work in our lives. Yet, the kinder and more compassionate route to take is always one of responsibility. I made a choice not to commit to Instagram in this way, and the sooner I make peace with that choice, the quicker the shame will go.
There may be an element of self-sabotage, but if I lean into this, rather than resist it, accepting it for what it is, then I immediately feel so much more peaceful. None of us are perfect, and we all sabotage in some form or another. The key is to become aware of it and not try and refute it.
And the most important thing to remember is that self-love and self-compassion annihilate shame, which is why the more understanding and kindness you can show yourself, the easier it is to let the shame go.
No. 2 - understanding the fear of becoming irrelevant
The second fear I have to face when quitting Instagram is the fear that I’m no longer relevant if I’m not visible on social media.
This is a really big one for me as I work for myself. When you have a business, your branding is very important, which is why nearly all businesses, large and small, have a social media presence.
What I’ve learnt is that it takes a huge amount of courage to go against the grain in life and do something that feels authentically aligned with who you are and your brand.
The trouble for me comes when I question how relevant I will appear if potential clients can’t see who I am or what I’m about. Having an Instagram profile adds credibility and trust to a brand, as you can see their brand essence come to life through the content they share.
When you choose not to have that presence, it can feel incredibly vulnerable, and all the fears surface around how viable you are, how valuable you are, and how relevant you are. We’re constantly told that we should be on social media to be visible and relevant, yet what if we don’t really want to be there?
Ironically, I have a fear of being seen and all the vulnerability it brings around judgement, yet I don’t want to be fully invisible. I am aware that I have gifts, as we all do, that I want to share with the world, even when I’m not sure how best I can share them.
We also now live in a world where everything is online and everyone is sharing every minute and every minutiae of their lives on social media, which creates this crazy question in my mind: “If I’m not visible online, then am I even there?”
Of course, we know the answer. Life isn’t lived through a phone screen; it’s lived in the breath, sweat and tears of being alive. Yet the cultural conditioning is so strong that it creates this fear of irrelevancy if we’re not seen to be living. I worry that clients won’t think I’m running an active business because my Instagram is a static page of old posts.
Everything is energy, and all of our belief systems, on a multidimensional level, co-create our reality to some extent, which is why we need to be extremely conscious of what beliefs we are sharing out into the vibrational web of our reality.
If I choose to believe, through my thoughts, words, and actions, that clients won’t find me because I’m not on Instagram, then that energy will ripple outwards into the world and create those conditions to match my beliefs.
So, we have to be cunning.
First of all, we need to be practical by finding a way of communicating with our clients and connecting with our community that feels authentic, fulfilling, and rewarding. Whether it’s through in-person events, networking, writing a blog, starting a YouTube channel, creating monthly newsletters, or anything in between.
If Instagram doesn’t light up your soul, then find a medium that feels really good and follow that thread.
Secondly, we need to be careful of our thoughts, especially around where our business comes from. Even though the conditioning around Instagram being essential for small businesses to thrive is so strong, we can create our own narrative that serves us in a better way.
For me, I now choose to believe that “the perfect clients are finding me every day in the perfect way”, based on letting go of the old narrative and building the belief that there is no one right or perfect way to create my brand, and I can create in any way I choose.
No. 3 - mastering the fear of making a mistake
The third fear that sits very heavily within me is the fear of making a mistake.
While I admit to being quite a gung-ho person when it comes to committing to a decision, I rarely want to try something and risk putting all my time, love, and energy into it only for it not to work out.
With the 12-3 energy in my Soul Contract, I am always in a rush as there’s so much I want to do. Alongside this, I have a fear of running out of time and have often found myself trying to fit too much in. This has left me exhausted and drained from being too busy and too intensely focused on my projects.
My fear around quitting Instagram for good is that I won’t be able to reverse my decision.
I quit Instagram once before, back in December 2022, after a harrowing year that had left me a little broken. The constant comparison I found myself engaging in became too much, and I just had to pull the plug and let it go. I created a little video, with a grand announcement that I was leaving, before finding myself hopping back on just three months later with a new zest for giving it another try.
And if you’d like to read about the little rant I wrote, here it is for you.
All of us fear making mistakes, even though we consciously realise that there are no such things as mistakes—only decisions that come with their own set of benefits and challenges.
Yet, the fear of making the wrong decision still lingers, causing a complete inability to make any kind of choice about staying on Instagram or leaving. This keeps me in a grey area where I’m not really on it but also can’t fully disconnect and switch off.
I also consciously realise that I can come back at any point. The fear feels more connected to whether I should try to make Instagram work for me or let it go and move on with my life.
When we’re stuck in indecision, it can feel incredibly draining. Even when we’re not consciously thinking about the decision, it’s still often in the back of our minds.
True freedom comes when we commit to a decision, knowing there is no right or wrong, and that it’s safe for us to make a choice. We are allowed to choose, chop, and change however we like, and no one can tell us otherwise. Once we face the fear of making the wrong decision, life instantly becomes lighter and easier.
Trusting your decisions and following your truth
Quitting Instagram is not just a decision about social media; it’s a journey of self-discovery, facing fears, and redefining what truly matters. The fears of missing out, becoming irrelevant, and making mistakes are deeply human (we all have them) and highlight the internal struggles we all face when stepping away from what society deems essential.
Choosing to let go of Instagram, or any similar platform, isn’t about rejecting opportunities or relevance. It’s about aligning with your truth, trusting that your gifts will shine through in the ways that feel authentic to you.
Ultimately, there’s no perfect answer, no definitive “right” or “wrong” choice. There’s only what feels true for you in this moment. Whether you decide to stay, leave, or remain undecided, give yourself grace and the freedom to change your mind as you grow and evolve. The courage to make a choice—and trust in its unfolding—will always guide you to where you need to be.
As you can likely tell from this post, I am still in the process of understanding what’s really holding me back from quitting Instagram and how to navigate these fears and complexities surrounding this decision.
Do I want to be on Instagram due to a fear of missing out, a fear of unfulfilled potential, a fear of becoming irrelevant, or a fear of making a wrong decision? Time will tell, and I’ll be here to tell that tale when the time comes.
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