3 Reasons We Spend Money (and What We’re Really Seeking)

The Emotional Drivers Behind Money and Abundance

Let’s talk about abundance and money, and the emotional drivers that cause us to want things, and want to buy things.

This isn’t coming from a place of financial expertise; it’s more from curiosity and observation, of myself and of the world around me. I find it fascinating how deeply emotional our relationship with money can be, and how much it reveals about our sense of self.

We all want money, and ultimately, we want money to feel something emotionally, so I’m going to give you some examples.

We want experiences that money buys in order to have pleasure and enjoyment. We want money to buy nice clothes and jewellery so we can feel attractive. We want money to buy holidays so we can feel well. We want money to buy houses and cars so we can feel safe and comfortable. We want money so we don’t have to work so hard, so we can feel relaxed.

Ultimately, every product and service that is sold to us is selling us a lifestyle, and that lifestyle comes with emotional value.

If you look at any marketing or advertising you’ll see that brands and businesses sell the lifestyle and the emotional value attached to it, they very rarely sell the product or the service itself. So money itself isn’t the end goal, the feeling it brings is.

The emotional need to feel worthy

When we peel back the layers, there are three main emotional needs we’re usually trying to meet when we buy something.

The first is that we want to feel worthy. And if you have the 3s or 4s in your Soul Contract, like I do, then money and self-worth are going to be really big themes in your life. Especially because our relationship with money is ultimately a relationship with ourselves.

Our relationship with money is ultimately a reflection of our relationship with ourselves. How much we allow ourselves to receive mirrors how worthy we believe we are of receiving.

It’s also about how worthy we feel in the eyes of society, in the eyes of our parents, in the eyes of God or the universe (that’s the biggest one), and in the eyes of ourselves.

At the heart of it, we all want to feel seen, heard, loved, and accepted for who we truly are, and it’s this longing for validation that is often what sits beneath our spending habits.

The emotional need to feel safe

If you know Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, you’ll remember that safety and survival are right at the base of the pyramid.

But safety isn’t just physical, it’s deeply emotional. When we come into this world, we experience separation: from Source, from the womb, from oneness. That initial separation creates a deep longing within us to feel safe and connected again.

So much of what we buy is driven by that need. Tangible things that we can see, touch, and trust help us feel grounded, less separate, less isolated, and less like an outsider. We are all seeking connection, belonging and safety, and the things we buy what we believe will bring us that comfort and reassurance.

We all carry a fear of abandonment, and yet we’ve all experienced it. That’s the beautiful irony of being human, we’re always searching for the safety we once knew.

The emotional need to feel fulfilled

And finally, we all want to feel fulfilled. We want our lives to hold purpose, meaning, and joy.

The universe is constantly expanding, growing, creating, and because we are part of that universe, it’s our nature to do the same. Change, growth, and evolution are built into who we are.

Creation doesn’t come from the mind, it comes from Source, flowing through us and taking form through our bodies. To exist means to grow. And at our core we are all seeking deeper fulfilment, joy, pleasure, growth and creativity, because it is the nature of who we are.

When we buy things or invest in new experiences, we’re often trying to meet that deep, creative impulse, to expand, to move beyond stagnation, to feel inspired and alive. It is a deep yearning for us all to experience and also express this.

What do our spending habits really show us?

For me, that’s what it often comes back to: the desire to feel worthy, safe, and fulfilled.

And this isn’t just about money, these three emotional needs sit underneath so much of what we do. Every thought, choice, and action is often a way of trying to meet one or more of them.

So the next time you’re about to buy something or make a decision, just pause for a moment and ask: What is the emotional value I’m really seeking here? What feeling do I want to have? And then notice, can I bring that feeling into my body without doing the thing or clicking ‘buy’? Or maybe you’ll still want to go ahead, and that’s perfectly okay too.

It’s simply about awareness, gently noticing what’s underneath our choices so we can be in a better position to be able to consciously respond, instead of unconsciously reacting, from a place of self-knowing, trust and compassion.

And if you resonated with this you may like to read these blog posts Here's 3 Things I Recently Learned About Abundance and also Love, Money and Abundance in your Soul Contract.

If you’d like support and guidance on your spiritual and emotional healing journey, you may like to book a Soul Contract Reading, book a Divine Healing session, or sign up to my newsletter to stay in touch for more similar posts.

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Carry on exploring