Five Spiritual Clichés That Just Aren't True

What does it mean to be ‘spiritual’?

I love speaking about spiritual cliches, traps and all the other things we fall into and succumb to on our awakening journey, because they’re just so necessary to bring out into the open - without any shame attached to them.

The most important thing to bring awareness to is that we are all spiritual because we quite literally are Spirit having a human experience in a physical reality, in physical bodies.

So, if we’re all Spirit having a human experience, then we’re all spiritual? Well, yes and no. We’re down here on earth to have the experience of separation: separation from Source, separation from truth, and separation from love. We are here to remember the true nature of who we really are and come out of the illusion of separation as we ascend back to love.

Yet, this isn’t always the path that we all take.

Every soul cycles through the stages of different lifetimes. Sometimes we play the role of the perpetrator, over and over, until we start to cycle through the lifetime of the victim, over and over, until we land in the stage of the healer, mystic or sage, before we reach the final stage of the enlightened master.

We don’t just live lifetimes on earth, we live lifetimes in other dimensions, other realities, other universes. What we think we know of the universe is 1%. What we know we don’t know is about 2%. And what we don’t know that we don’t even know is about 98%. This is my favourite understanding of reality - because we actually don’t know anything at all, and if we think we know it all, then we’re absolutely deluded!

So, some of us are living a lifetime of spiritual awakening - which is waking up to the truth that we are Source having a human experience in order to ascend out of the density of the 3rd dimension and up into pure love of the 12th dimension. And some of us are not.

One of the hardest things about this life is trying to bring people along with us on our own awakening journey.

We can’t fix, save or heal anyone else, it’s a job that each person can truly only do for themselves. This makes a lot of people sad, more people angry, and a lot of people feel really hopeless. We can’t take anyone along on the ride, as it’s such an individual soul experience. And we can’t force anyone to walk the path we walk, because it’s just not the direction they want to go in.

Untangling what it means to be ‘conscious’

That being said, there is some weirdness in the spiritual community (which is so vast and varied that I don’t think any two people are the same) which is why I wanted to gently un-peel some cliches that I used to believe, so we can get to the deeper meaning underneath.

One of the biggest problems we face is the spiritual superiority of people who think they are more awakened or enlightened than someone else. The truth is, no one is better than anyone else. We’re all very, very different.

But what I will say is that there are some who are more conscious, but that doesn’t make them better, it just makes them.. well, more conscious. And we really need more conscious people in the world, because that’s the thing that’s going to tip this world out of the chaos and madness it’s currently in, and into, hopefully, a much better place.

Because, you see, most of us are living unconsciously.

We’re unconscious of our programming that’s keeping us stuck, fearful and in sabotage of a more wonderful life. We’re unconscious of the bigger picture - the blue sky above the layer of grey cloud - which allows us to just flow more graciously with life. And we’re unconscious of the true nature of our reality, which is far more than meets the eye.

So, let’s dive into those delicious spiritual cliches, with an open mind, and the knowledge that I, at one point or another in the last decade, have believed all of these things. So - no shame, no judgement - let’s get into it.

No. 1 Spiritual people should be all about ‘love and light’

Gosh, well this is a juicy one to start with because nothing could be further from the truth.

When we start our spiritual journey of knowing ourselves as Source, it’s easy to see everything through the rose-tinted glasses of love and light. It’s a very exciting time when we awaken, and everything feels glittery, magical and unlimited.

This was my experience of it anyway. I believe we all upgrade, awaken and ascend (what most people traditionally call a spiritual awakening) in gradual stages. I remember thinking I knew everything. I was practicing yoga, reading the books, hugging trees, and sharing my positivity with anyone who would listen, not realising that I was coming across as a little bit preachy, and a little bit annoying.

The truth is, the spiritual journey can be dark, filled with grief, and utterly overwhelming.

We are not here to live in the denial of love and light. The world is far more complex than that, and so are we. It's tempting to want to only see the good in the world, and in ourselves, but there is so much darkness that we have to face into, accept and embrace, in order to come out on the other side.

The peace movement of the 1970s is a great example of the youth of the spiritual movement, when everything was about wearing colour, loving everyone, painting flowers and smoking away any worries on a cloud of marijuana and other dubious herbs.

Love and light is the surface-level of spirituality before it goes into the depth and darkness. It’s like being on a rollercoaster when everything is new and exciting, and you’re feeling high on it all. But it does plunge down before it levels into something a little more real, a little more grounded, and a lot more truthful.

No. 2 Spiritual people shouldn’t drink alcohol

As someone who gave up alcohol for 5 years between 2019 and 2024 I can safely say that this one is a bit of a sensitive topic for many of us.

One of the reasons we over-indulge in alcohol, abusing it and abusing our bodies, on an individual level as well as a collective level, is because it’s a socially acceptable form of numbing.

Alcohol is an accepted way to numb and avoid how we really feel, and we can end up drinking too much in order to forget and find a way through painful or challenging situations and past trauma, in a way that feels acceptable in the eyes of the people around us. After all, everyone drinks, right? It’s normal, right?

Alcohol addiction is like a judgement-free way of avoiding pain that goes by unnoticed by society - it just blends in too well.

I gave up alcohol in order to work on becoming more confident, without the need for the social crutch. I started drinking again (after a lot of inner work) because I wanted to see if I could enjoy a drink without it affecting me in a negative way.

There can be a lot of scaremongering in the spiritual community about alcohol being the ‘worst thing ever’ but when we let go of the extreme, shame-filled judgement of it, what are we left with? The truth is, alcohol isn’t good for us when we have too much - it impacts our health, our happiness and everything in-between.

At the same time, we all have our own independent relationship with it. If we abuse it, of course it’s going to have hugely negative effects on a physical emotional and spiritual level. But if it’s drunk for pleasure, joy, celebration or as part of a balanced lifestyle, I don’t think it’s the worst thing ever.

Part of my reason for not drinking was that it was a way for me to feel spiritually superior, but now I’ve let that go, and I like to have a drink every now and then - not as a form of escape or numbing, but just for the pleasure of it.

No. 3 Spiritual people shouldn’t care about their appearance

This is a belief I’ve been holding onto for a really long time, and it’s still not quite filtered out of my system in all honesty.

I started caring about the food I was eating back in 2017 - it was like a huge lightbulb moment for me that led me to understanding the mind-body connection and ultimately led me on the path to studying Kinesiology and completely setting myself in a brand new direction. And from then I started caring about the chemicals I was putting on my skin. It was a gradual thing, but it morphed into keeping make-up to a minimum, not dying my hair, no fake tan, not painting my nails, or using any ‘unnatural’ products on my skin.

To be fair, this was more of a thing during the dreadful years of the scam-demic in 2020 and onwards when I was holed up living in the countryside with just my parents for company for too long. Scruffy was chic.

Fast forward to nowadays, I still use 100% rosehip oil as my moisturiser (it’s so lush), natural soap, fluoride-free toothpaste when I can get my hands on it, and swanky, natural shampoos when I can afford them. And I stay away from traditional sunscreen unless there’s no other options.

At the same time, I sometimes love to fake tan - especially in the winter so I can just feel little better and brighter. I occasionally get my nails done as a treat and I’ve had fun going a little blonder, and embraced a more balanced way of caring for myself.

The spiritual journey for some people is about rejecting their appearance and focusing on the inward journey, and that’s ok. But for me, I do care about my appearance, and I needn’t feel shameful for caring about it.

We’re all so radically different, and there’s absolutely no right or wrong way to live. There is, of course, a more conscious way to live, and a less conscious way to live, but we all get to make that choice. It’s ok to care about your outer self, as well as caring about your inner self, it’s all about balance and knowing what feels best for you.

No. 4 Spiritual people shouldn’t care about money

I’d say this is one of the biggest blocks for people on their spiritual journey and something that lives within a vast ocean of judgement, resentment and shame.

When we wake up to the matrix of our reality it can feel like we want to go in the complete opposite direction. We see the greed, manipulation, materialism and selfishness of most people within this system, and it can feel like money is tainted, dirty and something to be avoided as much as possible.

That old adage that ‘money is the root of all evil’ is one such belief that operates very strongly within many of us, alongside many other money programmes that tie into all sorts of past lives, ancestral limitations, self-worth struggles and attitudes and behaviours around lack and limitation.

I’m no expert on abundance, but what I will say is that our ability to receive money is directly linked to our ability to receive love - basically, feeling worthy of it.

Many people who go down the spiritual path are seeking a deeper understanding of their internal, and external reality. They are on a journey to uncover the truth of who they are and why they’re here on earth. And this, my friends, is a journey to understand that we are Spirit in separation.

And part of that path is coming into full acceptance of who we are. We are all, whether we’re aware of it or not, on a journey to recognise our true worthiness, our true divinity and the absolute perfection of who we are, despite all the darkness within us that comes along for the journey.

This is why we can really struggle with money - the spiritual journey is a journey of self-acceptance.

Money isn’t evil, but like anything in this world, if we abuse it we suffer the consequences. Money is a part of our life and we deserve to receive it. And, if you don’t believe you’re worthy of receiving money, then that’s a gift for you to unwrap and start diving into.

We don’t need to shun the material world when we move into greater states of consciousness. Instead, we can learn to enjoy it and create our own heaven on this earth where we can experience all the beauty, wonder and joy that life has to offer.

No. 5 Spiritual people should do yoga and meditate

This is a bit of a goofy one, but there’s a bigger message here which is this - we think there’s a one-fit label that applies to spiritual people, but that’s simply not the case.

Some of us love to work with crystals and tarot cards to receive messages from the universe, and some of us don’t connect to that. Some of us love to do breath work and cold plunges to awaken our minds, and some of us don’t feel joy doing those things.

Some of us love to do yoga and meditation to come into stillness of the mind, and some of us just can’t sit still long enough to find that still point. Some of us love to astral project and explore the world through our dreamscape, and some of us don’t dream at all.

You get the point.

We’re all a little different, and isn’t that a grand thing? Some of the most spiritually conscious people I know eat meat, whilst some of them avoid all animal products at all costs, because that’s what living a spiritual life is all about. It’s about following your inner compass, your intuitive guidance to know what’s true for you and what’s not.

There’s no right or wrong way to be ‘spiritual’ and this is the most important message in this whole post. We’re not here to be perfect, we’re here to live, and through living we gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and the truth of our divine nature.

We all connect to life in different ways, and sometimes something works for us for a while, and then we need to change it up and try something else. I did yoga for years before falling out of it and now I just enjoy walks and the occasional gym. I used to be vegan for years but now I eat dairy and eggs, and I’m ok with that.

If we stay so rigid in our ways of living how can we gain a fuller perspective of life? Being on the spiritual journey is about letting go of judgement of others, and judgement of ourselves, realising that we are all Spirit, having a human experience.

There’s no right way to be spiritual

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to life, because if there was, it would be incredibly boring.

We are here to experience life in all its bountiful ways, and it’s ok to experiment a little with what feels good and what feels aligned to our soul. Sometimes we get it right, and sometimes we fall into the trap of thinking we should do something to fit in, when that’s really not the best thing for us to be doing at all.

I believe that letting go of shame, guilt and judgment is a crucial part of our growth. That doesn’t mean we can tear through life doing whatever we want without consequences, that’s just not realistic, but when we can soften into greater self-compassion within ourselves, it changes things in our life in radical ways.

We live in an incredibly divided world that’s filled with political and socio-economic differences of opinion. Sometimes, it’s good to know that we don't need to engage in it all the time. We can just observe it playing out, without needing to stick our oar in. The spiritual journey is a deeply internal one, and sometimes, during crazy times such as these, we just need focus on ourselves.

That’s not a selfish way to live but it is a necessary one - the world doesn’t change from the outside in, it changes from the inside out. So, perhaps we can let that judgement go, of ourselves and others, and see what is waiting for us on the other side.

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Carry on exploring