The Truth Behind Negative Comments on Social Media and How to Handle Them

Why people leave negative comments (and why it’s not about you)

This post is for me, and for whoever is watching or reading this, to understand the psychology behind why people post negative comments on Instagram.

I’m sharing this because I find it genuinely fascinating. When I scroll through Instagram (or TikTok) and witness the negativity, the judgement, the hate, I always find myself asking: why? I’m a big truth seeker. I like to understand people - maybe due to the strong 5-5 truth-seeking energy in my Soul Contract.

I like to dive into the psychology and get to the bottom of things.

The second reason I’m sharing this is because I recently had a reel go viral, which was a huge surprise for me. While ninety‑nine percent of the comments were really lovely and kind , there was that one percent that was a little bit critical and judgemental, and not so nice.

I’ve done a lot of work on myself over the past few years, mainly through Divine Healing sessions, and the criticism genuinely washed off me. I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I would be so unaffected by it, but I was. And I feel deeply grateful for everything I’ve done to get myself to that place.

I didn’t feel personally attacked. I didn’t feel ashamed. I didn’t feel embarrassed or humiliated. I didn’t feel anything, really. I did have a small spike in my heart rate when I read them - not going to lie - but it settled again very quickly. And I remember thinking, that energy is not mine.

That is a very negative energy being projected outward, and there is always a reason behind that, which is the purpose of this post.

A quick hello and welcome

If you’re new here, my name is Antonya and I help people understand themselves through their Soul Contract energies and the deeper unconscious programming operating beneath the surface that drives our reality. I help bring these things into awareness so we can see them clearly and start to take command of our lives - things like ego programming, self‑sabotage, and all those juicy patterns that hold us back.

Another reason I wanted to share this is because I explored this topic a while ago on behalf of my boyfriend. He is a very talented, wonderful musician, and he was putting himself and his music out on YouTube, only to receive some really awful comments.

I remember thinking “I’m not putting up with that” so I went inward and explored it myself, seeking to understand why people do this and what’s really going on underneath it. That video is linked here.

This time, though, this reflection is coming from my own lived experience - and it became a little itch that I really needed to scratch.

The truth behind negative online comments

The first thing I notice is that a lot of people simply miss the point.

The reel I created was a skit, a little something to tickle and amuse. Instagram, at its core, is an entertainment platform. Yes, there’s education there too, but it’s primarily a space for creativity, expression, sharing passions, businesses, and everything in between.

Some people commenting negatively on posts like mine completely miss that it’s a skit. It’s not real life. It’s acting. And honestly, the fact that our acting was good enough to provoke such a response is kind of a win.

But more importantly, these comments usually come from a deeply unconscious place.

Most people scroll past things they don’t agree with and keep moving. But for some, the ego kicks in very strongly: I need to comment. I need to correct this. I need to prove that I’m right and they’re wrong.

That’s what the ego does. It draws lines: right and wrong. Me and you. Safe and unsafe.

To explain this a little more clearly: as humans, we have a physical body. Within that, we have our soul. We have our conscious personality, which is the “you” and “me,” our likes, dislikes, preferences. And then we have the ego.

The ego is the glass ceiling of consciousness. Its role is to make us forget where we come from. It is terrified of its own demise, its own death, and it will do everything it can to remain in control. The ego is reactive rather than responsive. It is defensive. It needs to be right. It needs control. And above all, it needs to feel safe.

So a lot of negative, judgemental commentary comes from the ego trying to protect itself. Something is seen that questions its validity, and usually it’s nothing more than someone doing something that acts as a mirror - reflecting something back that feels uncomfortable or triggering.

That doesn’t mean the content is wrong. But because the feelings are uncomfortable, instead of leaning into them - which we are not taught to do in our culture - we lean away. And instead of pausing in a moment of self-reflection and regulation, we attack the source of the discomfort to make it go away.

Hurt people hurt people - the core reason for negative online comments

This is why we often see people sharing very truthful, conscious, beautiful messages online and being attacked for it. It’s not because the message is wrong - it’s because that level of consciousness and truth feels threatening to the ego that is in charge.

And it’s important to say this gently. We can all be very wounded. There’s that saying ‘hurt people hurt people’ and it’s true. People who hold a lot of unresolved trauma, wounding, and negativity within them often don’t know how to release it. They haven’t reached a place of self-acceptance.

Before self-love is even possible, there are stages: you have to accept yourself, then embrace yourself, and only then can you love yourself. Many people simply aren’t there yet, because of their childhood, their conditioning, their programming, and their beliefs, and they don’t have the tools or awareness to sit with discomfort, reflect on it, and work through it internally.

So the pain gets projected outward.

I once saw a wonderful content creator - a genuinely lovely man - who shared peaceful, beautiful videos of himself on his boat. And yet, he kept receiving nasty messages from the same person. Eventually, he reached out and asked him why he was sending such hideous messages.

The reply completely blew my mind.

The man said he didn’t know what else to do. He sat on his phone for twenty minutes, let all the negativity spew out of him, and then he felt better. When I saw that, it really landed. I think this is exactly what many people are doing, they simply don’t know where else to put what they’re carrying.

Some people come from very harsh, critical, judgemental backgrounds, especially if their parents were like that. Criticism becomes normalised. It turns inward first, and then it gets turned outward. Again, it’s unconscious. People aren’t self-aware enough yet to sit with what makes them uncomfortable or triggered and reflect on it with curiosity and compassion.

Instead, they attack the source of the feeling to try and make themselves feel better. The ego draws a line: you’re wrong and I’m right. It defends that position to the death because that defence is its sense of self. The ego is terrified of being broken down and reabsorbed into the vastness of spirit - which is what we truly are.

Life on Earth is a test, a game, an experience. It’s not meant to be taken quite so seriously - and yet we take it so seriously.

The difference between conscious and unconscious negative comments

While a lot of negativity comes from unconscious wounding, there is also very conscious and purposeful negativity directed at people. This exists on a spectrum, from boundary abusers, to energy vampires, to narcissists, and all the way to the deeper, darker expressions at the far end.

These people know exactly what they’re doing. They will find a wound, identify it, and prod straight into it. Others do this unconsciously. They don’t know where they’re prodding, they’re just prodding something, because it gives them temporary relief. Sometimes it hits the wound, sometimes it doesn’t.

If this had happened to me a few years ago - if I’d received negative comments questioning my integrity or my professionalism as a practitioner - I would have absolutely crumbled. I couldn’t handle anyone questioning my value or my worth. It simply wasn’t there in the way it is now.

By no means do I sit in perfect self-love. My soul destiny in my Soul Contract is a 12-3 which is about coming into worthiness, feeling safe to be seen, and sharing what I carry within me. That is a long, lifetime journey for me but I’m so grateful that these comments didn’t impact me in the way they once would have.

My approach now is very simple: I ignore them. I don’t want to feed that negativity or give it anything to consume, and I have no need to defend myself. I know who I am. I know my value. I know my worth. I know my practice, my professionalism, and my integrity. I don’t need to prove it.

And that feels deeply joyful!

So, I hope this message reaches the people who need it. If you are sharing something authentic, vulnerable, and true, please keep going. Keep doing the beautiful work you’re doing and keep showing up as yourself. And, if it triggers people, that’s their work, not yours.

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Further Support & Resources

If you’re navigating emotional challenges or feeling weighed down by old patterns, here are a few gentle ways to support yourself:

• Discover your Soul Contract
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• Join a group healing session (free)
  Experience a shared, guided space for emotional release and support, and connect with others on a similar path.

• Explore Divine Healing sessions
  Work one-to-one to release emotional patterns, trauma, and limiting beliefs, so you can feel more at home in who you are.

• Stay connected
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Carry on exploring