How to Break Free from Self-Sabotage

What’s your biggest fear right now? The one that’s quietly keeping you from doing something you truly want?

We all have dreams and goals we hold close, yet, so often, something unspoken keeps us from taking the first step. For me, it’s the desire to create a membership group offering divine healing sessions – a nurturing space to connect with clients who are already such a meaningful part of my journey.

But there’s a lingering fear, a whisper of doubt that says, “What if no one joins?” And for many of us, a similar fear can hold us back, manifesting as self-sabotage or a quiet hesitation, often without us even realising it.

The role of fear and self-sabotage in our lives

Fear has a very clever way of hiding in our actions. It often appears as self-sabotage, a subtle or even subconscious urge to avoid the unknown. And why? Because deep down, our fear-driven mind, or ego, has a job to do: to keep us safe from the unknown.

The ego’s purpose isn’t necessarily malicious, it’s actually looking out for us, but it often chooses safety over possibility.

When we face something new, like a dream or a goal that feels just a bit out of reach, the ego tends to pull us back, thinking that the unknown is risky. It builds walls around that desire, leading us to question, avoid, or dismiss it.

But what if we took a closer look at these walls of self-sabotage, tried to understand them, and see if they’re as solid as they appear?

Working backwards: understanding fear by questioning it

One helpful way to look at fear is to trace it backward.

Take my own example: if I think, “What if I create this membership and no one comes?” the fear behind it can unravel into deeper questions. If no one joins, what happens? I may feel like I’ve failed, I might worry about earning enough to support myself, and suddenly, in my mind, this spirals into a fear of losing my home or not being able to survive.

When followed far enough, this trail of fear lands on the most basic fear the ego knows: “What if I don’t survive?”

This may sound dramatic, but it’s a natural way that the mind works, constantly building on “what if” scenarios to imagine the worst outcomes.

Fear magnifies uncertainty until it almost feels like stepping forward might risk everything. But understanding that fear is simply an echo of our imagination, a part of us protecting us in an overcautious way, can give us back the reins to guide it more consciously.

Getting to the truth of fear

By breaking each fear down in this way, the “what if” scenarios lose some of their power.

It becomes easier to see that fear is often just our imagination running a bit wild. The fear of failure, judgement, or loss can be calmed by recognising that things aren’t as dire as our minds might make them out to be.

Another way to approach fear is to turn the narrative around. Rather than letting our thoughts spiral into, “What if it fails?” try asking, “What if it works? What if people do join? What if it leads to even more fulfilling opportunities?”

This gentle reframe moves us out of resistance and into possibility. It encourages the mind to expand in a positive direction, allowing room for optimism and hope.

Embracing fear with compassion and curiosity

It’s important not to resist the fear but to acknowledge it with compassion, as if speaking gently to a small child. #

Our fears are just parts of us that want to keep us safe, even if they don’t always go about it in the best way. By recognising and listening to them, without letting them rule our decisions, we can move forward with a greater sense of trust and clarity.

If we remember that fear is simply our imagination in overdrive, then we can bring it back into focus. When we notice fear creeping in, we can take command by reframing those “what if” thoughts, holding space for the possibilities and the positive outcomes.

Moving forward with clarity and support

If there’s something you really want to do, take a moment to write down any fears around it, then work backwards to see where they lead. Once you uncover the core fear, question its truth. Is it absolute, or are there other ways of viewing it?

Allow yourself to imagine the positive possibilities, keeping those visions clear in your mind. And, if you need a helping hand to bring yourself out of fear and self-sabotage, I can support you through Divine Healing sessions.

Subscribe to my channel for more gentle insights on emotional healing and spiritual awareness, or book a Divine Healing session here.

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Carry on exploring