The 3 Degrees of Comparison - Who Are You Comparing Yourself to?
Today, I want to dive into a topic that resonates deeply with me - comparison. It’s something I’ve grappled with, and I know many of you have too. In particular, there are three levels of comparison that I want to explore today.
The struggle with comparison
Comparison often feels like an unwelcome guest that shows up uninvited, doesn’t it?
We find ourselves scrolling through social media, peeking into the curated lives of others, and suddenly, that twinge of inadequacy creeps in. The first layer of comparison stems from the strangers we encounter online. It's easy to dismiss this as harmless scrolling, but it can subtly weave beliefs into our minds.
I know this dance all too well. I’ve battled with it, oscillating between highs and lows, mainly landing in a place of self-doubt every time I open Instagram.
Seeing someone seemingly living a perfect life can make our own realities feel inadequate. We may not consciously recognise these feelings at first, but they settle into our subconscious like a cloud, overshadowing our self-worth.
This is a shared experience, especially for those of us with a more sensitive disposition. If you resonate with this, you’re not alone. It’s okay to acknowledge this struggle; it’s part of being human.
Peers and sibling rivalry
Now let’s shift our focus to the second layer - comparison with our peers. This realm includes friends, colleagues, and, yes, even family.
I have a successful brother whose accomplishments sometimes stir that old feeling of competition within me. It’s not uncommon to feel this way, especially with siblings. The comparison game can be particularly intense, making us question our path or achievements.
It’s vital to remember that feeling this way is completely normal. We all have moments of wishing we had what someone else has - be it a new job, a fun holiday, or simply the ease they seem to possess. In those moments, it’s important to reach out and share our feelings with those we trust.
We are not a burden by sharing our struggles, and voicing our thoughts can bring validation and a sense of relief. It’s okay to acknowledge where we are while still celebrating others’ successes.
The deepest comparison: with ourselves
Now we reach the innermost layer - the comparison with ourselves. This is a funny one, isn’t it? It often catches us off guard. We find ourselves comparing our present selves to who we were in the past or to who we hope to be in the future. We swing back and forth like a pendulum, often forgetting to appreciate the here and now.
I know I’ve caught myself reminiscing about the past, wishing I had the confidence I used to have, or fantasising about the future version of myself who has it all figured out.
This can become a trap, keeping us stuck in a cycle of longing rather than appreciating our current journey. It’s essential to have compassion for ourselves in these moments. Remember, you are not the past version of yourself; you’ve grown and evolved. And the future self you envision? You already carry that potential within you.
The power of awareness
So, what can we take away from this exploration of comparison?
Awareness is the key. Recognising when we’re comparing ourselves to others - be it strangers, peers, or our past selves - empowers us to shift our perspective. The journey to self-acceptance is not always smooth, but it’s a path worth taking.
By cultivating self-awareness, we create space for compassion and kindness towards ourselves. This doesn’t mean dismissing our feelings or denying our experiences; instead, it’s about embracing them and allowing ourselves to grow from them.
I invite you to take a moment to reflect on your own experiences with comparison. When do you find yourself feeling inadequate? Are there specific triggers that lead you down that rabbit hole? Journalling your thoughts can be a powerful tool to understand these patterns and gently challenge them.
As I wrap this up, I want to remind you that it’s perfectly okay to experience comparison - it’s a natural part of life. What matters is how we respond to it. Embrace your unique journey, celebrate your victories, and extend love and compassion to yourself in times of struggle.
If you’re seeking deeper self-awareness, a Soul Contract Reading might be just what you need. It can offer insights that resonate with your heart and soul, helping you embrace and relax into who you truly are so you can navigate life with greater trust, resilience and ease.
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