Seven Things I Wish I Knew When I Started Healing

If you’ve read my blog posts before, you’ll know I sometimes struggle to use the word ‘healing’.

I would never call myself a healer, because we are the only ones who are capable of healing ourselves, and the word ‘healing’ is so all-encompassing, we sometimes forget what it truly means.

For me, healing is about coming home to the truth of who you are and awakening to the divinity within you that has been waiting to be discovered. It is through the process of healing that we slough off all of the redundant programming and beliefs that have caged us in, so we can truly know the freedom of being our true selves.

Like stripping the layers of an onion - healing is about removing the heaviness and murkiness, so we can finally see, feel and embody who we are.

When we do this, we can discover a deeper peace with who we were, who we are and who we could become. We land in acceptance of life, knowing that it is all just part of our soul’s journey to evolve back to consciousness.

We remember that we are playing the game of life, and earth is the playground which we have been gifted.

I don’t think I really even knew what healing was until I discovered the work that I’m now doing, and I’m still on the delightful journey of understanding it, and myself, through the process.

So, I wanted to share seven things I wish I knew when I started healing, in the hope it might bring clarity, peace and grace to your journey. Although, I fully acknowledge that we are all here to find our own path in life, and what works well for me, may not feel in tune with you.

This is something I deeply honour, and brings me very nicely to the first thing on my list.

No. 1 Be careful of where you give your attention and energy

When we start to awaken; looking inwards into our state of being, as well as outwards into the illusion of the world, it’s normal to start researching, reading and exploring the opinions, stories and experiences of others.

I remember hoovering up self-help books and following many people on Instagram, trying to absorb as much information as I could about myself and the world around me, based on other people’s experiences.

And now? I feel like healing, spirituality and wellness on social media has exploded since then, and it is saturated with people sharing (and sometimes shouting) their thoughts and opinions on everything under the sun, which can be overwhelming, confusing and exhausting.

Especially if you’re new to healing and are still exploring what resonates with you.

It’s very easy to give away our power to people who we think know us better than we know ourselves. Nothing could be further from the truth - we do know ourselves, we’re just still at the beginning of the healing journey of remembering.

When we’re diving into the world of healing it’s important to be incredibly discerning with where we place our time, energy and attention. Take it all with a pinch of salt and don’t take anyone’s word as law, no matter how qualified they might seem to be.

No one can tell you who you are - only you can. 

So, my advice to you is this; when it gets too loud or confusing, tune out the noise and come back to yourself in the best way you know how. 

For me, this has always been through grounding. Whether it’s walks in nature, yoga, gentle healing sessions on myself, speaking to people I trust and love, time with animals, lots of journaling, and reading my favourite books - it’s whatever works for you that connects you back to your intuitive flow so you can then begin to reassert your discernment.

No. 2 Let go of fear and resistance

There’s no doubt about it - when we start healing, there’s a whole heap of change that’s going to flood into our life. This isn’t something we humans tend to like. Change can be scary, stressful and intense, especially when it all comes at the same time.

I remember the early months of 2020 where I left a three year relationship, moved locations, lost my jobs, had my whole understanding of the world blown up, and everything in between. That year, and actually all the years since, have been utterly wild, but I wouldn’t change them for anything.

This is what healing invites in - deep change that storms into our lives in any area it chooses - and all we need to do in order to navigate this, is to relax and just let it be.

It sounds hard, and it absolutely is. Leaning back, letting go and relaxing when things are in turmoil is sometimes the hardest thing to do, but it’s the most essential one to help us move forwards. For when we relax, we are in a place of trust, which is when everything finds the space to land exactly where it needs to.

When we begin the process of healing, we are in the process of reordering. When we start to self-enquire into the inner workings of our reality through the process of healing, the ‘outworkings’ start to bend, reshape and reform.

It’s normal to feel fear and resistance to letting go of the way things have always been. I encourage you to make peace with that fear, inviting it into your heart where it can be transmuted into something greater. And to gently gather that resistance into yourself, letting the hardness soften and the tension to melt into tenderness.

No. 3 Slow down and remember it’s not a race

I recognise that some of us are hungry and thirsty for knowledge (especially if you have a 12-3, 15-6 or 20-2 in your Soul Contract - check your numbers out here!) and want to explore all there is to know. However, we need to also be mindful of spiritual burnout.

I see healing and awakening as one and the same thing. We cannot fully heal without awakening to the truth of our spiritual nature, which is why healing and awakening are different sides of the same coin.

If you’re on a mission to heal, and it’s a strong driving force within you, I invite you to pause and ask yourself what‘s really driving this intensity within you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to heal, but I have come across many people who are in a rush, myself included, and there’s always an underlying reason that’s the drive behind it.

It may be that we’re in a rush to avoid having to come back to earth and repeat the same experiences, which would create pain and suffering.

Or it may be that we’re in a rush to make our lives better than they are. Or, it could be that we have a strong soul drive within, that’s wanting us to bring our mission on earth online.

The thing is (as someone with this big rushing, urgent energy), the more we lean back and relax, the more the very things we seek find us. The more we heal at a sustainable and joyful pace, avoiding burnout and exhaustion, and the more quickly those things we seek find us.

As you take your healing and awakening journey in divine timing, following your intuition and noticing the universal nudges, life unfolds beautifully. Find peace with where you are, and the rest will follow.

No. 4 Healing isn’t linear

This is one of the best things to remember, because it brings so much peace when we feel like we’ve slipped backwards on our healing journey.

I’m not sure where we all got the collective idea from that healing was a lovely, straight path towards a finish line, but somehow it got embedded in our consciousness, creating huge disappointment and dismay when we find ourselves veering off track.

Healing happens in layers, and often we clear a layer of something big, only for another layer to reveal itself underneath.

I sometimes fall into the lovely illusion that I’ve managed to heal the programming that’s deeply engrained within me around my worth, but of course that’s absolutely loony and I’ve had many humbling moments when I’ve realised that there’s much more below the surface that I haven’t even touched!

Healing is a lifelong commitment and an ongoing process that’s completely interwoven with our lives.

Healing doesn’t happen in an insular way. It happens when we’re interacting with people who trigger deep-seated beliefs within us. It happens when we’re with our families and engaging in the dynamics. It happens at work. It even happens when we’re in the car.

It’s so normal, and so necessary, for healing to happen in waves. Sometimes we feel good, and sometimes we don’t. That is the gift of being a human being. It needs patience and compassion to ride the waves and not let them drown you in defeat.

The trick is, not to invite that disappointment in that’s knocking on the door saying “I told you so, you’re not strong enough to get over this, you’ll be stuck with it your whole life. You failed, you’re not good enough and you’ll be like this forever” - or something along those lines.

Let it go, with love. You are doing so well, and this is the reminder you need to keep close to your heart. Healing doesn’t happen in a straight line, it’s absolute chaos sometimes, and that’s ok.

No. 5 Look up and appreciate how far you’ve come

I admit, I find this one a little challenging.

Imagine that your healing journey is like climbing a beautiful series of snow-capped mountains. It’s hard, challenging work, but the views are breathtaking and the air up here feels so fresh and invigorating.

And as you climb, the little hills that you once felt were impossible and insurmountable, are vanquished. You crest the hill and then start at the bottom of the next. But often, our only focus is what we have to still do, instead of what we have already accomplished.

We all need to look up and appreciate how far we’ve come - for progress in our healing cannot be measured in any tangible way, but it can be seen and appreciated in the life we are creating for ourselves. As we work on our inner self, the landscape of our outer reality shifts considerably. And it is this landscape, this view, this hard work, that we need to feast our eyes upon.

A good example of this is that I never thought I’d have such a beautiful, loving and harmonious relationship, and I do. But three years ago I was in a vastly different place (and you can read the full story here).

A personal mountain of mine has been finding success and reward through the work that I do - and while I’m still scaling that never-ending mountain peak, I can stop, turn around, and see how incredibly far I’ve come. I am so lucky to have wonderful clients and deeply fulfilling work.

It’s been hard-won and I now remember that I deserve to stop, rest and enjoy the view for as long as it gives me pleasure.

No. 6 Coming back to the whole point

I remember someone once telling me that the whole point of life is to be joyful, and at the time I had a hard time wrapping my head around that one.

I believed that life was meant to be hard, full of suffering, struggle and challenges in order to better ourselves and learn the lessons that we came to earth to learn. And now? I’ve come to the realisation that there is a middle point, one that gives me a lovely feeling of peace, acceptance and gratitude for what this life is.

If you’ve had a Soul Contract Reading you’ll know that there are lessons and challenges that our soul has given us in order to bring us back home to the truth of who we are. As we uncover our courage to walk directly into those challenges - which is exactly what healing is - we find our power and strength on the other side.

Part of our life here on earth is about uncovering the truth, long forgotten within us, of our divine nature, and sometimes the path to remembering is a little fraught with obstacles and challenges.

But part of our lives here on earth is also about being fully present with who we are and where we’ve found ourselves. It is about love, appreciation and joy, and finding a happy home on earth to relish in this beautiful planet where we are surrounded by such miracles and wonder, that we all get to experience by being in human, physical form.

I know the earth is in a place of deep suffering right now, and that suffering has swept so many unfortunate souls into dark and terrible places, yet if we have the chance to be here and have love and joy in our lives, then we are here to accept that and remember - it’s the whole point.

Look around you and see the love in your life. Is it in the tree outside your window? Is it in the birdsong you hear as you wake up? Is it in the person sitting across from you eating breakfast?

If you look for love and joy, and open your heart to experiencing it, it will find you.

No. 7 Remember to love yourself

One of our greatest challenges is also remembering to love ourselves - which is really the whole point, and the hardest part of healing.

We are all here to learn to fully appreciate and love ourselves for who we are - not for what we do, not for who we wish to be and not for our accomplishments. We are not here to only love the parts of us that society deems acceptable, and we are not here to turn away from loving the parts of us that are dark and shameful.

We are here to love, accept and embrace the whole damn lot.

For it is only when we love ourselves, that we can find that deep inner peace, which is really what all of us are seeking.

For a long time in my life I wasn’t really aware that I didn’t love myself. In fact, I had absolutely no concept of it at all. It was only when I stumbled into a Kinesiology session in my late twenties that I realised I was unconsciously blocking love from my life because I didn’t believe, in my very own words, that I was worthy of it.

Since then I’ve been on a path of understanding and uprooting the hidden, inner beliefs shaping my reality, and those of my clients, so we can allow more of that love into our hearts.

We all want to improve our external circumstances, but without diving into the depths of love we hold for ourselves, and seeing if that love can sustain us, we cannot make the progress we so desperately desire.

It all begins with love, and it all ends with love. The sooner we realise that healing is really just a remembering of that love, despite all the shadowy darkness and misguided belief systems, the sooner we can reach a new level of consciousness within.

Compassion is your doorway to healing, and the sooner we let the self-criticism and self-judgement go, the sooner we can relax into, and make peace with, who we are.

If you’d like support and guidance on your spiritual and emotional healing journey, you may like to book a Soul Contract Reading, book a Divine Healing session, or sign up to my newsletter to stay in touch for more similar posts.

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Carry on exploring