13 Questions to Ask Yourself Ahead of 2026

The beginning of the year traditionally involves setting intentions, making well-meaning promises about what we want to achieve, and placing expectations on our shoulders that we may, or may not, reach.

While January 1st is the Gregorian start to the New Year, in other not-so-traditional ways, the New Year hasn’t yet started.

In the Chinese New Year, which falls on 17 February 2026, it marks the start of the Year of the Horse. This “new year” is determined by the lunar calendar, not the traditional Gregorian calendar.

If we follow the cycles and rhythms of nature, another version of New Year doesn’t start until the official start of Spring, which falls on the equinox around 21st March each year.

Both of these alternative New Years make far greater sense to me, considering that 1st January is still in the heart of winter, which doesn’t feel like a natural time for renewal and new beginnings.

While the Gregorian calendar was created for convenience, it lacks the natural embodiment of the heartbeat of earth, which is why this can be such tough time of year for us all - especially when our culture piles on the expectations that we must renew ourselves on this date by hitting the gym, going on a diet, setting goals and cutting back in every part of our life.

So, instead of making grand promises to ourselves, perhaps we can use the month of January - the depths of hibernation before the final stretch of winter - as a time of reflection, instead of forced changed, and see what might come out of it.

Here’s thirteen questions to gently sit with, and it might be worth seeing for yourself what your answers are, and how it those answers may positively and powerfully impact your year ahead.

1) What have you learned about yourself that you can’t unsee?

We are always in a state of change. As much as we try to keep things the way they are, we are quietly evolving, whether we want to or not. We change constantly, and as we do on the inside, our lives change on the outside too.

Part of our time here on Earth is to come back to love, though this is no easy path. Before we can love ourselves, and others, we must first accept, and then embrace, who we are. Only then can we truly love all that we are.

Part of this cycle of growth is the learning that comes with it. For me, I learned many things about myself this year that fundamentally changed both me and my life. I learned that I need to slow down and remember how to live, instead of rushing around and staying busy through fear and avoidance.

Once you see these things, you can begin to accept them, embrace them, and then love them.

2) What are you quietly proud of?

When we begin opening to ourselves, and to life, on an emotional as well as a spiritual level, it’s all too easy to focus on the parts of ourselves we feel ashamed of. As I mentioned above, we are here to gently accept and embrace those parts, but what about the parts of who we are that we’re proud of?

Too often, the spiritual and healing journey can feel dark and heavy. While awakening was never meant to be easy, it can also be light, joyful, and full of love.

Being proud of who we are, what we’ve come through, or what we’ve accomplished, or anything in between, is a powerful way to open our hearts and minds to truly loving ourselves. I, for one, am deeply proud of how I’ve grown this year: the tough times I’ve moved through, the moments I’ve managed to admit where I’ve been wrong and apologised, and the times I’ve allowed myself to do things differently.

Can you take a moment to recognise what you’ve done beautifully with your life? It’s not bragging, it’s not showing off, and it’s not being smug, it’s simply being real.

3) What race are you trying to win without realising it?

Unconsciously, whether we’re aware of it or not, we’re all trying to win at something. We just don’t always realise that we’re only ever in a race with ourselves.

The finish line can feel like a mirage, the other competitors are comparison, and the goal is an illusion that forever sits just beyond our reach.

Sometimes the race is about earning enough money. Other times it’s about beating others to prove our worth. It could be a race to outrun time and our eventual death. A race to heal so we don’t have to return to earth. Or even a race to reach a level of achievement that finally allows us to feel safe.

Only you know what race you’re unconsciously running. For me, it’s a race to prove myself before life changes too drastically and I’m no longer able to run at all. It’s deep, and painful to acknowledge, but it’s there nonetheless. The more we see it within ourselves, we more empowered we are, so I always encourage you to go deep and see what’s really going on deep within you.

4) How can you be more you?

We are moving into an age of AI, and it’s not a slow creep, it’s a mad gallop into an entirely new way of life.

Like the Industrial Revolution or the rise of the internet, artificial intelligence is a force that has been dropped into our society with very little collective understanding of its far-reaching and potentially drastic consequences.

In an age where our trust will be tested and our sovereignty weighed against convenience and efficiency, it feels imperative that we embody more of who we truly are - in mind, body, and soul.

AI is soulless; there is no Source consciousness attached. As it grows, we are increasingly challenged to stand firm in the truth and uniqueness of who we are. So, how can you embody more of your own wonder, beauty, and magnificence, in your own way? You’re here to stand yourself apart, be loud in the crowd and dive into all that you are.

5) What are you ready to let go of?

We all know that holding on can create stuck energy and stagnation in our lives, but letting go isn’t always easy either.

We also tend to hold onto non-tangible things such as memories, ideas, beliefs, and ways of being, which can make it even harder to release them. For me, I’ve spent too long holding onto the suffering of 2020 and the changes that tore through my reality, as they did for so many others.

Often, we hold onto the past because it serves us in some way. I held onto my pain because I needed to feel understood and validated, but eventually I realised that I was the only one who could truly give that to myself.

Letting go can bring grief, anger, and denial, but it can also bring hope. Never forget that.

6) How are you not serving yourself?

One of the greatest ways our ego stays in control is by encouraging us to look outward at others, rather than inward at ourselves.

Like the famous saying from the Bible ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye' while the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbour's eye - we are often drawn into seeing the faults of others in order not to have to tend to our own.

This is a form of self-denial, and it does us a great disservice. So how can we use this year to see more clearly where we are not supporting, caring for, or loving ourselves? We can look at this physically, emotionally, and spiritually, and begin to examine it, without judgement or shame, so we can do better by ourselves.

7) What are you avoiding by staying busy?

I am a master of staying busy to avoid feeling, and many of us are.

We don’t always realise we’re doing it, but we use whatever means we can to avoid emotions we don’t yet feel ready to face. It can look like avoidance, self-sabotage, or numbing: doom-scrolling, workaholism, obsessing over appearance, alcohol or drug use, overeating, shopping, gambling, or anything in between.

The invitation is to stop just enough, or at least practise slowing down, so that what’s beneath the surface has space to rise and be witnessed.

I stay busy to avoid feeling lack and longing, but also to avoid a sense of pointlessness that can tip me into a depressive state (which comes from the sensitive 5-5s in my Soul Contract). That’s okay. It’s normal. There’s nothing to be ashamed of - it simply wants to be acknowledged.

8) What would you stop doing if you trusted yourself more?

If I trusted myself more, I would stop worrying. I would stop anxiously questioning whether I’m doing the right thing for my future. I would stop comparing myself to others and instead breathe and soften into how life is unfolding right now.

Trust is a huge theme in our lives, but we often approach it outwardly, questioning whether the universe supports us or whether others can be trusted. More often than not, the real question is whether we trust ourselves.

When we do, life has a way of landing in our hands with a harmony that feels almost miraculous. If there’s anything I long for, it’s to be in deep trust with myself and to live from that relationship. The question is, what would you do if you truly trusted yourself, and can you begin, even a little, right now?

9) What are you ready to be honest about, at least with yourself?

We all wear a mask to some degree. It’s a way of protecting ourselves and staying safe, but it can also be a way to lie to ourselves, which only serves to allow our ego to remain in control.

One of my favourite moments in healing sessions is when hidden subconscious ego agendas surface, because we are never truly conscious of them, until we bring them up and out into the open. The way these ego agendas stay in operation is through our lack of awareness, as well as our denial, of them.

For example, we can lie to ourselves about why we stay in a relationship that doesn’t make us happy. We can lie about why we stay in a job that brings us down. We can lie about not following our hearts in a million different ways.

These patterns can be slippery to catch, but why not begin by asking yourself what you’re not being fully honest about, and see what arises.

10) What no longer fits but you keep returning to out of familiarity?

Just as we can lie to ourselves, we can remain in outdated situations, relationships, places, or belief systems that no longer serve us, simply because they feel familiar.

Familiarity can feel safe in a world that no longer does, so of course we tend to stay with what feels comforting as the world reins its chaos around us. The thing is, life is life in an ocean - the waves and swells will always be there, making you wet and pulling you under.

But, as you grow, you need different things to help you in this ocean. Whereas once you needed armbands, maybe it’s time you had a surfboard to help you fly across the waves, or even a boat to enjoy the ride.

Whatever it is, it’s safe to let go. Something else will always take its place. Energy doesn’t disappear - it keeps transforming.

11) What are you treating as urgent that isn’t actually important?

A lot of us stay busy in order to feel important and bring meaning and value to our lives, without realising that our busyness is just another illusion that disconnects us from who we are.

When I was younger, I took my job very seriously. I’d turn up late to meet friends and complain about how busy I was, believing that busyness made what I was doing important. In truth, much of it mattered very little, but at the time it helped me feel important and worthy, even when I knew deep down that I was trapped, unhappy and deeply unfulfilled.

Now, I still overemphasise the importance of my work and my clients, tying myself up in knots of stress and tension that just don’t need to be there at all. Perhaps you know what you’re attaching too much importance to also. When we recognise false urgency for what it is, we can begin to refocus on what truly matters.

12) What are you still protecting yourself from?

We carry trauma both physically, stored in bodies that never forget, and mentally, buried in the subconscious where it quietly shapes how we live.

When we hold onto trauma, consciously or unconsciously, it can seriously impact our quality of life. Trauma, big or small, is all the same. We store it inwards, as a way of protecting ourselves, but it doesn’t disappear; it waits until we’re ready to gently bring it into awareness so it can be processed and released.

While I’m no expert on trauma, I am experienced in how the past can stay lodged and buried in the body, and how it can block our life force and keep us trapped in fear. I carry financial trauma and recognise that I’m still in survival mode around it, which is something I’m ready to address and release this year.

13) Where are you outsourcing your worth or validation?

We all carry a self-worth wound, especially if you have those 3s or 12-3s in your Soul Contract, like I do, so I feel this one very deeply.

When we struggle to love ourselves, we tend to attach our value to an external source in order to seek that validation in a quick and easy way. As a young woman, I attached my value to men and whether they found me attractive. Others attached their value to how slim they were.

Nowadays we still attach our value to our appearance, and how other people perceive how we look, but we also attach it to how much money we make, where we live, the places we go, our social following, and who we surround ourselves with.

The problem is that when we outsource our worth, and that supply is removed, we’re left exactly where we began. The time to remember your worth is now, not later. And reconnecting with it may be the most fulfilling thing of all.

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If you’d like support understanding your navigating your emotional and spiritual healing, here are a few ways you can go deeper:

• Download a personalised Soul Contract Report (4-page Summary or Full 120-page report)

• Read about Lightbody sessions here if you’d like to explore further

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If you’re not quite ready for a session, you can explore more Soul Contract and emotional healing resources on my blog page or YouTube channel.

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Carry on exploring